Many moons ago, and more specifically, last September, I returned home from a month long trip to Asia. It was an absolutely amazing trip to countries I'd never been before and with good friends I hadn't seen in years. Traveling with people you trust, who know the country that's beyond foreign to you, is magical, most importantly because they take you to all the good food spots.
In fact, they had so many good food spots on their 'must do' lists that at one point we were having four full meals a day. So when I returned to New York, sun-blistered, extra chubby and exhilarated, I vowed to go vegetarian for a month and to stop smoking. The idea was to detox from all of the meat-heavy dishes I'd been eating for a month and to clear my lungs. (Vietnamese cigarettes are cheap y'all!)
This resolution failed on many levels, but most notably on one evening when after a long, stressful day of moving my work's offices uptown, I went for celebratory drinks with our IT guy. These are snippets of the ordering from that night: "Bacon Bloody Mary, good sir!" I said to the barman, because I can't resist a Bloody Mary on a menu, bacon in a cocktail isn't really meat, right? "Pack of Marlboro Lights, please!" I said to the bodega owner, because willpower and I parted ways amicably earlier in the evening. "Order of Buffalo wings with the next beer!" I said to the next barman, because I love Buffalo wings, and by this point I had either forgotten that chicken was meat, or that I was a vegetarian.
There are a few lessons that I take away from that night. Make friends with the IT guys, they're good peeps. Bacon Bloody Marys are a good idea at any time of day. Smoking is very, very bad for you. Stop it. And most notably for this post, Buffalo wings are usually part of a messy night and an unpleasant morning hangover.
This is shame, since I love Buffalo wings and am currently on a bit of a hot sauce reconnaissance mission. I bought a bottle of Frank's Red Hot Sauce as an impulse buy the other day and had an internal dialogue on whether I was really going to attempt making wings at home. I really don't trust myself with a pot of hot oil, but what else could I bathe in hot sauce just the same way?
Answer: Cauliflower substitution.
Substituting cauliflower for starch, dairy and other things that are good and holy in this life, has been making the rounds. There's cauliflower fried rice, cauliflower mashed potatoes, and cauliflower Alfredo sauce. Some of my friends have been experimenting with cauliflower recipes, but I just never felt the need. If I wanted cauliflower, I had that, and if I wanted a cream sauce I used heavy cream and cheese.
This particular experiment really arose from my absolute craving for the Buffalo wing taste without risk of any questionable decisions that precluded or followed wing consumption. I'm no longer pretending to be a vegetarian, so while I could make Buffalo wings at home, it seems much more labor intensive than I was willing to attempt.
This is a very good solution. Super easy to make with just three (3!!!) ingredients and a hot oven. You really get the vinegary kick of the sauce, and really, that's half the appeal of wings. Cauliflower works here because its florets hold on to the sauce really well and it roasts beautifully. I ate my first batch with some quinoa and avocado. My friend Angie sprinkled some blue cheese on hers and called it a day. You can dress it all up with blue cheese sauce and celery sticks, but then, when you're pretending that much, just go to the bar.
On to the recipe!
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